The Chicago Files

A CANADIAN EXPAT'S EXPERIENCES AND OBSERVATIONS LIVING IN THE WINDY CITY!

Genuine Article

The word, “sincerity”: we use this word and its derivatives a lot in our daily language, don’t we?  “I sincerely mean it”; or, when closing a letter we often write, “Sincerely”.  It’s almost as if we feel the need to prove our honesty or truth with regard to what we are saying to others.

I have a little ‘game’ I play when I see a photograph (or in person) of someone smiling.  If you take a really good look at their eyes, nine times out of ten you can actually ‘see’ if their smile is sincere or simply forced (or fake).  When I began to notice this phenomenon, it took me by surprise.  By all accounts we take it for granted that when someone is smiling, they are happy, or at the very least, genuine in how they feel at that moment.  Sometimes the eyes so blatantly speak of insincerity that I want to say to the person, “You aren’t fooling anyone; I think it would be much better if you simply didn’t smile at all!”  At the very least sincerity wouldn’t be feigned.  I have much more respect for someone who does not attempt to fake a grin, don’t you?  Their mouth is open showing off their shiny and bright white teeth, yet their eyes are saying something altogether different.

Brittany Spears

I’m sorry, Brittany Spears; unfortunately, your smile in this photo is my textbook example of a smile which is frightfully forced.

I had an experience not too long ago whereby the person I was speaking with was sporting the “pretend smiley face”, but their eyes showed me their sincerity had been dropped off at the door.  And what does that convey to the receiver of such disingenuous grins?  It says a lot, really.  At times perhaps we think, oh gee, why isn’t this person being ‘real’ with me?  Do I give a certain kind of impression so as to illicit such a response from this insincere soul?  The answer is always the same:  It is never you who induces insincerity from others.  It is always a form of the person’s feeling a ‘lack’ of something.  Perhaps the feeling is a lack of self-esteem, or true happiness.  The person does not like who they are, so they create a persona that captures the essence of who they ‘think’ they wish there were.  But it does not go unnoticed, does it?  Faking sincerity is a telltale sign of how a person really feels about themselves.  Maybe the ‘real’ them does show up in a smile now and again; however, the insincere smile is always indicative of ‘lack’ in some form or another.

Genuine

At times we deal with an extraordinarily insincere sales person who, by all accounts, will change on a dime (pun intended) should we altogether decline to purchase whatever it is they are selling.  The initial grinned greeting will disappear as fast as it initially showed itself.  If you want me to buy something, at the very least be cordial, but don’t pretend you are now my best buddy because I agreed to purchase this Mixmaster Blender from you!

“To Thine Own Self Be True”; Shakespeare was on point when he coined this phrase.  To me, this means expressing your sincere being.  The saying, “You catch more flies with honey” might ring true, except when the honey is “artificial” and not sincerely made by the sweet honey bee!

Sincerely,

Cher *grin*

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34 thoughts on “Sincerity: The Genuine Article

  1. Allison says:

    I love this, beautiful Cher. So very, very true.

    Sometimes I’ll actually look into someone’s eyes and see vacancy, sadness or fear even tho they smile.

    And I just want to hug them! Lol

    Much love to you,

    Allison XOXO

    Liked by 2 people

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Ah, thank you so much, dear Allison! I really appreciate that! Yes, I know exactly what you mean! Bless you for that; I am positive they certainly need a huge! And to you as well my dear, Cher xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Very interesting post Cher. I use to look in peoples eyes to see them for real. For me the eyes are a mirror of their soul. I use to leave the area, when I meet those fake smiling people. Life has taught me that they can be dangerous.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Thank you so much, Irene! I feel the same way. The eyes are a mirror of their soul, to be sure. Yes, it is a wise choice to make when faced with someone whose eyes do not match their smile. Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It is a learning process in faith in humanity!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      That is a wonderful way to look at it! Thank you! Cher xo

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Totally agree – my mum taught me to trust people more who ‘smile with their eyes’ rather than those who flash their teeth… Lovely post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Your mum is right, Suzie! The eyes have it! 🙂 Ah, thank you my dear! *Smiling at you whilst squinting my eyes*!! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post and very true. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Thank you so much my dear! I appreciate that! I think it is too! Cher xo

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Don says:

    That image of Brittany Spears says it all, Cher. You couldn’t have picked a better image.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Ah, thank you so much, Don! I didn’t want to insult her, but clearly it does demonstrate what I am trying to convey! I am so glad you agree!! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Amber Danette says:

    🙂 my smiles real 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Ah, bless you, dear Amber!! *biggest grin to you*!! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amber Danette says:

        😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Amber Danette says:

        XOX

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Glad you can read lips and eyes))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and the typed word or I’d be in trouble )))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      *LOL* *LOL* You’re the best, George!! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Be yourself is my motto. Off course there are certain individuals, who tell a person a wrong train to get on. xo

    Like

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      I think that is a great motto, Don! In fact, I do believe Ollie was being himself when he told me what train he insisted was the correct one!! ;-P xo

      Like

      1. When and if I see Ollie, I will get to the bottom of it. xo

        Liked by 1 person

      2. seaangel4444 says:

        Yes please; I would NEVER steer Ollie in wrong direction! 😉 xo

        Like

  10. This post was spot on, Cher. I think the world needs to be made aware of real sincerity – as you quote: the genuine article. It’s in the eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Ah, thank you dear Carol! It really is in the eyes, isn’t it? When you become aware of it, you never look at smiles in the same way again! That’s what I find! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sin-cere = “without wax.” I love this word, having no wax stuffed inside a stature to deceive the buyer into thinking the weight was in gold Glad you pictured such an “article.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      How fascinating, James! Thank you for this interesting information! Cher xo

      Like

  12. lemmerson60 says:

    I am also a firm believer eyes are the mirror of the soul. People may change their appearance but they can never change their eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      I totally agree! Yes, people can change their hair color, clothes, all kinds of things, but they can’t change those eyes!! Cher xo

      Like

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