The Chicago Files

A CANADIAN EXPAT'S EXPERIENCES AND OBSERVATIONS LIVING IN THE WINDY CITY!

sunrise-lake-michigan-november-12-2016-2

This morning’s sunrise was interesting to me.  The horizon line was filled with orange and golden tones while above it lingered dark, black, creature-like clouds that hovered over Lake Michigan like prey.  They reminded me of people who attempt to cast their shadows down upon those who dare speak their minds and share their ideas.

And you know what?  I’ve started speaking my mind.  I used to avoid saying how I felt because I was afraid of the backlash I thought I might receive, or the disapproving remarks I’d hear (what’s the saying, “getting an earful”).

Sometimes people think that silence is equivalent to agreement; in other words, if someone doesn’t speak up to give their opinion then they aren’t against the thoughts or words of others.  Many times I’ve heard people say, “Well I thought they were alright with it because they didn’t say they anything”.  Such a bad assumption we make as many of us don’t have the courage or where-with-all to truly state how we feel.

 I used to think that if I said how I really feel then I’d lose something.  I’d lose that person in my life, they’d have a bad opinion of me, and the long laundry list of ‘what ifs’ would fill up the nearest public library.  To share my true feelings and opinions meant I’d have to take risks; I’d have to take the risk of someone not agreeing with me.  By ‘putting it out there’ meant I’d be questioning whether or not the other person would treat me in a not so pleasant manner.

I used to feel that others wouldn’t like me, or they’d be upset with me if I shared my opposing view.  And then, it finally dawned on me.  If the person I’m talking with is offended, that is their choice.  My intention is not to offend, but if they choose to have their nose out of joint, that is out of my control.  I also now realize that more than likely they’ll get over it.  The sky won’t fall, the planet will keep on spinning, and I’ll be just fine.  I remember on one occasion taking a deep breath, telling someone how I felt, and literally holding my breath to steady myself for the potential negative word-darts about to be hurled in my direction.

My conversational adversary did not agree with what I said; however, I felt better for letting my feelings be ‘out there’ instead of keeping them bottled in the deep caverns of my thoughts.  Displeased with my honesty, the person didn’t say too much to me for a day or two.  And then, everything was fine.  I smiled thinking about the fact that my words may have not been popular with the other person, but the risk I took by sharing them didn’t result in mayhem in the streets.

Sometimes, silence isn’t so golden.  But I’ll tell you what is golden.  It’s golden to be true to yourself and let the chips fall where they may.  That isn’t to say I condone spewing mean or hurtful sentiments to others.  No, I mean it’s much better to say what you mean in the most respectful way that you can, but SAY IT! 🙂

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27 thoughts on “Saturday Serenity: Why Silence Isn’t Always Golden

  1. Steven Baird says:

    Good for you, Cher. A true friend will respect your opinion. Sometimes it’s more difficult to be silent than to speak the things that matter. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Ah, why thank you so much, Steven! I really appreciate your thoughtful words. Yes, I agree; it has taken me a LONG time to realize it, but speaking up is the best thing. 🙂 Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Steven Baird says:

        You’re welcome. I wonder if it’s a Canadian thing? I seem to have the same problem sometimes. But as I get older, I don’t mind speaking out so much. Not confrontational, but letting my voice be heard.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. seaangel4444 says:

        It could be a Canadian thing, Steven. And yes, I agree with you. As I get older I most definitely feel more comfortable sharing my opinion! It feels great, doesn’t it? Cher xo

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Steven Baird says:

        It does. At worst, people will think I’m cranky and need a nap. I can live with that. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. seaangel4444 says:

        Nothing wrong with that, eh Steven? 😉 Cher xo

        Liked by 1 person

  2. John says:

    I agree with Steven, Cher. The older I get, the more I’ve been able to get my thoughts on things ‘out there’. I’m in no way referring to your age! 😇😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      I think you and I are in agreement with Steven, John! Me too! *LOL* Ah, what a ‘Canadian’ polite thing to say, Mr. Michigan! 😉 Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. John says:

        Cher, I’m seriously struggling with what to do when my apartment lease is up July one 2017. I miss the family back home but love living in Las Vegas, sans the damn traffic. What to do!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. seaangel4444 says:

        Well, if you were to move back to Michigan, would you be okay with just going to Las Vegas to visit perhaps a few times a year (winter comes to mind). When I need to make a big decision, I literally do the pros and cons list. Seeing it in front of you might make the decision clearer! Cher xo

        Liked by 1 person

      3. John says:

        I did write down a Pro’s & Con’s list on a sheet of paper. Nothing on it yet! Still chewing it in my head. I do NOT miss the cold, snow, slick roads, black ice or the bugs, good Lord, the bugs.

        No bugs here. No salty roads to rot your car. No palm trees or mountains in Michigan. But I am utterly alone here now, no friends, no family.

        Like

      4. seaangel4444 says:

        I’m sure the best answer for you will show itself, John!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. John says:

        I hope so Cher. Been talking to God about what He wants!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. John says:

        Just uploaded some new images, have a gander. 😬

        Liked by 1 person

      7. seaangel4444 says:

        They are awesome!

        Like

  3. I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve recently had the same epiphany. I feel liberated to say what I think. No longer will I compromise my beliefs or feelings! Bravo. Hugs my friend. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Thank you so much, Colleen! Isn’t it a freeing feeling not to worry about always keeping your thoughts to yourself in the hope that no one will be ‘mad’ or ‘offended’? Bravo to you too my dear! Thank you! Hugs to you, Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! I have let people manipulate me. No more! Yea, us! If they don’t like me, then good bye! LOL! ❤️😘

        Liked by 1 person

      2. seaangel4444 says:

        Yeah! I feel the same! Yeah us indeed, Colleen!! 🙂 🙂 *LOL*

        Liked by 1 person

  4. GP Cox says:

    We all have the freedom to speak our minds – that’s what our veterans helped to save for us. I HAVE lost friends because I speak my mind and it hurts at times, but I have as much right to my opinion as others do. So – good for you, Cher!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. seaangel4444 says:

      Oh yes, thank God for our veterans, GP! You do have a right to speak your mind as much as others do; that is for sure. Thank you, GP; I just want to honor my feelings, as opposed to crushing them and feeling bad about it. It’s taken me a long time, though! Cher xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. GP Cox says:

        That’s what I mean – I was agreeing!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. floridaborne says:

    If a friend can’t see that you are going to have differences of opinion once in a while, they’re no friend. Getting attacked for speaking your mind is no fun, but there are times in life where you just have to do it or your brain will explode. 🙂

    Several of my friends on facebook have entirely different opinions about politics. (I do get irritated when people call the USA a “democracy.” It’s a republic). We’ve had some colorful conversations but no one has unfriended the other or plans to do so. I’m presently taking a break from facebook to focus more on NaNoWriMo. 🙂

    Like

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